INTERVIEW: kennedi releases debut EP 'self': "This is my story. It's nobody else's in any way, shape, or form."

Oct 30

Oct 30 INTERVIEW: kennedi releases debut EP 'self': "This is my story. It's nobody else's in any way, shape, or form."

Interview: Jett Tattersall
Image: Lauren Dunn
Rising American singer-songwriter kennedi today releases her debut EP self. A five track collection of contemporary pop at its very best, with elements of electro, synth, hip-hop, indiepop and R&B threading through its thoroughly cohesive and connected soundscape.

Highly autobiographical and personal in nature, self is the first release in a two-part project to be followed by her second EP SABOTAGE in 2021. Diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, kennedi created two EPs to explore both sides of her mental nature. Each carry their own unique tone and represent one hemisphere of her emotional state - self being the delicate light to SABOTAGE’s manic darkness.

self showcases a remarkably confident artist who has created what it takes some artists years to accomplish - music that connects directly with your soul. Unabashedly baring her soul and sharing stories about her mental health struggles, sexuality and queer identity also turns kennedi’s music into empowering anthems for everyone else who recognises their own struggles in hers.

kennedi released her first singles in 2016 and alongside her solo career has also written songs for some of the biggest artists in music today, including Ariana Grande (‘Fake Smile’), Dua Lipa (‘Boys Will Be Boys’) and the Jonas Brothers (‘Hesitate’). self sees her establish herself as one of the brightest and fascinating artists around and with music this engaging, kennedi has the potential to be a voice for this generation. We can;t wait to hear more from her.

To celebrate the release of self we recently caught up with kennedi to find out more.

Hi kennedi! How are things with you? Your debut EP self is out in the world!
I'm so excited, honestly because I've been working on this for two years. This has been something that I've been waiting for forever. And of course, COVID postponed it even more. But I'm super excited. As frustrating as it is with how much time like things take, I'm happy because I got to make sure it was perfect. Every little thing. You know, each of the songs, I'm kind of a psycho, there's like 400 versions of them. I know exactly what I do want to hear and what I don't.

One of the main things with songs and writing in pop is a lot of it is very symmetrical. You have the verse, pre-chorus, hook, and then it's very one plus two equals three. The thing I love about my EP, both of them, is it's a full journey and nothing is the same. Not even a hi hat. It's just a full journey, you know? Each of those songs. So I'm so excited. It seems surreal.

Does that confidence and integrity in your own work come from passion to tell the story or is there also a bit of a control freak nature to it?
I’m definitely a control freak. I signed a publishing deal three years ago and when I signed it, I didn't really understand that I wasn't signing a label deal, in a sense. So going into each of the songs, I thought that they were for me. So when big artists wanted to cut them, I would get upset. I'd be like, ‘wait, this is my song’. So, I had to deal with figuring out how to save my story and not give it away to another artist. So that was interesting to try and figure out that balance. It caused me to become such a great writer, I call it being like an actress. I got to go in and put on the face of someone else and tell their story. I think that just helped me grow in a million other ways.

Was there ever any one of those tracks that you found really hard to give away? Or did you write it and then go to you know what, that's mine?
Oh, many times. There's one song that was super special that I actually gave away. It was ‘Afterlife’ by Hailee Steinfeld. I actually wrote that song in London by myself two years ago in the studio when I was really going through it in this relationship. I was working with Stargate and we were actually there working on a Rihanna camp. But I got so overwhelmed. The one thing about me that really sucks is - and the whole EP is just the same thing - I feel so much all the time, or nothing at all. So in this situation specifically, I was with my high school sweetheart for however long and we were just really going through it. And this song just came out of me, I actually needed to leave. I went into this room and I was just bawling my eyes out. In the original demo, I'm bawling through it, it’s so dramatic. But that one was super, super hard to give away, but she's a close friend of mine. It was a thing where if I wanted it to be out in the world, it was gonna have to go through her. Some songs need to be sung by somebody else to get there. So, that was very hard, but I'm happy that it's out in the world. That's the most important thing to me.

That's incredible. And how do you feel hearing it now?
I'm just happy that it's out there, because I have over like 750 songs that are sitting in a Dropbox and that's so hard for me. The best way to describe it is being a baker, in a sense, and having people come to you and be like, ‘Hey, we really want you to make this cake for us’. And so you make a plethora of cakes and they're like ‘Okay, cool. We only want this one’. You're like okay, what do I do with all these other beautiful, perfect cakes that so many people would love to enjoy?

I like that analogy a lot. You have released some incredible music and there's been some beautiful singles coming off self. I first want to talk to you about my favourite, which is ‘what i need’. It's just these raw lyrics and their perfect partnership with this muffled joy, clouded melody and your falsetto vocals, just working hand in hand with this static lace baseline of a marching band. It's incredible. And it's multifaceted. And I think it's so spot on and personal. And I would love to hear you talk me through it.
You want to know something? I'm so happy to hear that because that's actually one of the most important songs to me, one of my favourite ones I've ever written because it is so real. And the best part about it, which I'm really excited for people to hear, was that I performed it live on stage. It was just me and my guitar so people got to really focus in and hear the lyrics. I grew up on folk music and rap, so I really take pride in my lyrics. The first lyric is: ‘I'm waiting on your fantasy, playing your game, but I'm so bored’. So it's like ‘game board’, I love to have those word plays that stick in people's mind and paint a picture. That whole thing is talking about going through the same relationship as with the ‘Afterlife’ song. I'm just in this place where you're not what I need anymore and…I love you. It's so hard, and that's one of the songs that I would still cry on stage performing it because when I open up those songs again, and sing those songs that are so personal, I feel everything again. That’s what sucks about being an empath. I really just feel like my heart is getting like ripped out every time and it's hard to perform. But it's healing - that's the whole purpose of ripping my heart out and putting it on paper is that people can heal in that same way because the beginning of the song is hell. I never want to start. My voice cracks. I get nervous because I know what's about to happen. But once I get to the end, it's like when you're having spearmint gum and then you drink water out of a drinking fountain. Have you ever done that? You’re like ‘woah, that was very intense’, but it’s also weirdly refreshing! The fact that you really connect with that song and you love it means the world to me, because I think that's the most special one for me on the project.

You talked about the contrast in the song and I love that. I can hear the folk music and the rap. But then of course, this EP is also just one side of the coin. Can you talk to me a bit about the whole project?
The way that I was first seeing this was as an album. self and SABOTAGE were going to be together, but we split them up, which I'm actually happy about. I'm bipolar and I was talking about my intense feelings and that's what these projects are. We have self which is me when I'm in my not manic state, just kind of existing and doing my best to stay afloat and not sink into the lower part. And then SABOTAGE, this is this is when I get excited, because this is my manic side. I'm not trying to be ‘being manic is the best’, but for me I love being manic because you're either super manic or you’re super low when you go through those spells. I was trying to figure out when I was writing this project why they weren't cohesive. I couldn't get them to go together and I was like ‘oh, because I'm bipolar, and there's literally two sides’. That's the whole point. I found out that my voice even sounds different. And it's not a different personality, that's important to recognise, it's a different mentality. I feel invincible. So, in SABOTAGE, it's on this whole other level where I feel like Superwoman in a sense, it's like nothing can touch me. I'm at the most heightened form of myself. You feel invincible and hat's why it's dangerous because people think that they can do all these crazy things.

This is my story. It's nobody else's in any way, shape, or form. It’s my heart and it's everything and it's scary because it's so real. Each song that has come out, I've had a panic attack before. But I'm so proud of myself. Knowing that my heart just longs for my story to be told and, I can't tell you how excited I am for self to be out.

We’re completely excited for self as well and very proud of you too. And lastly, because I have to leave you what is on the horizon for you? I know we got lock down and we got 2020 going on, and we can't be touring, but I'm sure you're a creative genius and you're coming up with different ways to connect with people.
Oh, you know what, there's been so much stuff that I've even been working on the side. The one blessing through quarantine was I forgot how well I can actually produce and so I produced my own project. I don't know when it's gonna come out. So I'm not gonna tease it at all. But I produced it all, nobody touched it. There's no splice. There's no cheating. It was all me. Everything. And I'm so proud of that. That was so fun. So I can't wait for people to hear that. But the second this is over, I just want to tour. I don't want to stop because that's where my heart's at, you know? You put music out and you see numbers. It's so different to get to sing the song and see people sing the words back to you, and cry and connect with you. There's nothing like it. I just want to go connect with everybody who's connected with my music and perform where I can and talk to people where I can. I just want to go everywhere and see everyone and have them hear my story and connect with it.

self is out now. You can download and stream here .

To keep up with all things kennedi you can follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

self track listing